I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
