I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
