By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
