Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
