how do flat chested girls get laid?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
