SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
This house was built for laser tag.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
