I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
