Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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