My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
