We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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