would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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