did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
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