i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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