All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
