I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
