Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
