I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
