so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
