I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
