he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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