There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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