OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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