You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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