I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
