She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
