Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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