it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you never un-have a 4some
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
