she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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