So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
