i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
