whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
