I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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