You really coming over, don't trick.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We have started to decorate penises.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Randomize
