yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
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