Pregnant stripper...not hot.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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