im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
my liver is dry heaving
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
