He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
this just has baby written all over it
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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