i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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