i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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