i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
