No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
