so explain again why im purple
no
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
