Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize