I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
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