Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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