Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
