Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
