Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Randomize
