Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
