8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Found your dick twin last night
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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